Rob is cast in a low-budget film and turns out to be the screen's worst lover.

Sam decides to sell the bar and move to California with Diane.

Diane Chambers ends up as a waitress in a Boston pub after she's dumped by her fiancee on the way to their Barbados wedding.

Latka's habit of changing personalities prompts Elaine and Alex to take him to a psychiatrist, where Latka assumes Alex's personality.

Felix recounts how he and Oscar met while serving on jury duty.

Bob undergoes a shock when his mother announces that she has separated from his father after 47 years of marriage.

KAOS invents a new instant aging process and 15 CONTROL agents die of old age.

After having to bring the bus company's money home with him, Ralph hides it in the icebox.

Army life takes on a new meaning for Bilko.

Don Adams guest stars; Don plays a talk show host beset with technical difficulties and Carol's agitated husband in The Lost Purse; Lesley Ann Warren dazzles us with song and dance.Guests: Don Adams, Lesley Ann Warren..

Dobie must reform Herbert to win a girl.

Connie's dream takes her into a fantasy land of marriage, anniversaries and babies.

A music professor suggests Bobbie Jo go to NYC for lessons, Billie Jo wins a Hollywood screen test, and Betty Jo earns a scholarship in New Hampshire.

Ann thinks Don is dating a woman in her drama class.

Preparations for Thanksgiving dinner turn into a kitchen catastrophe for Danny and the gang.

Joey returns from a comedy tour convinced that Danny and the gang don't need him anymore. In reality, the group has decided that Joey needs his own room instead of living in an alcove in the living room.

A surprise birthday party for Danny turns grim when he learns that Jesse has totaled his prized car.

Danny and his family are chosen to make a promotional announcement to boost ratings at the TV station.

After falling out of a tree, Bobby develops a fear of heights.

A tidal wave is predicted for New York.

Danny's furious when it's said that entertainers aren't representative of Americans.

Donna and Alex try to have a romantic night out.

Dressed for a costume party, Steve goes for gas when his car stalls.

Chip and Polly (Stanley Livingston, Ronne Troup) agree to elope -- and also agree to ask their parents' permission first.

Lucy becomes David Frost's traveling companion.

Lucy and Mary Jane sneak off to the races despite Mr. Mooney's objections.

Laura takes two pink pills and suffers disastrous side effects.

Mary starts dating the anchorman from the top-rated television station and soon finds herself serving as a spy.

Fonzie comes to Al's rescue when some hoods try to muscle in on his drive-in.

Laverne and the gang bid farewell to Carmine, who leaves for New York to try his luck in Broadway musicals.

On the Nile: Stubing meets a widow; two agents want Doc's souvenir; a couple faces facts; a reporter upsets an actress.

On the Nile: Stubing meets a widow; two agents want Doc's souvenir; a couple faces facts; a reporter upsets an actress.

A beautiful secretary at Drysdale's bank breaks the heel of her shoe and hobbles to cobbler Jed for help.

Sam Drucker, of "Petticoat Junction," wins a trip to Hollywood, and Granny assumes he is coming to marry her.

After reading how much it costs to raise a child, Vint and Naomi decide to go into business for themselves, selling Mama's mother-in-law's miracle tonic.

After finding his wedding ring in the bathroom, Mama begins to suspect that Vint is having an affair with his new trainee; Mama and Iola go to Kiwk Keys to investigate.

Fred fabricates a story about the war to tell to his grandchildren.

Fred and Lamont wind up stranded in the forest when they go camping. They reflect on past experiences together.

Edith's eagerness to perform with Stephanie at a concert leaves her without a voice and Stephanie alone.

Edith is the cause and victim of a quarrel when her long-lost admirer visits with his intended bride.

Simon meets his son and grandson for the first time; the family pretends to be happy to try to get Wilbur into a prestigious pre-school.

Elka throws a funeral for Victoria so she can join Emmet in hiding; Simon and Joy face a dilemma.

Rob and Laura are dismayed by Millie's jealousy of their new neighbors.

Laura spends a night alone in the house when Rob and Richie go fishing.

Diane's scorn for Sam's choice of female companions sends the bar owner on a futile quest for an intelligent date.

Sam is threatened with a lawsuit after hot-headed Carla attacks an obnoxious Yankees fan (Ron Karobatsos).

Jim's psychic powers thrust him into the world of network television when he predicts a TV show will be a hit; a TV programmer uses Reverend Jim's psychic abilities.

In the throes of a hangover, Oscar throws Felix out of the apartment.

Bob takes on the role of Christmas peacemaker when he attempts to reconcile his parents (Barnard Hughes, Martha Scott).

A KAOS mad scientist develops a new hallucinogenic drug and demands $50,000.

Ralph tries hypnotism on Alice as a means of getting money from her.

Bilko sees a rich GI as a ticket to saloon ownership.

Jonathan Winters and Barbara Eden join Carol for the question and answer segment; Barbara and dancers perform "Bend It;" Leonard Nimoy joins Carol in "Mrs. Invisible Man."Guests: Jonathan Winters, Barbara Eden, Leonard Nimoy..

The Gillis men try to manage without Wini.

When an ex-boyfriend announces a visit, Mrs. Davis wants to impress him by pretending to be wealthy; Connie poses as Mrs. Davis' personal secretary.

Fed up with chopping wood for Kate's old wood burning stove, Uncle Joe cooks up a scheme to get her to buy a new one.

ALF helps Lynn (Andrea Elson) boost her self-confidence by enrolling her in a beauty pageant. With Max Wright, Anne Shedeen and Benji Gregory.

Ann tracks the source of loud organ music.

ALF gets a severe case of hiccups after being excluded from Dorothy and Whizzer's (Anne Meara, Paul Dooley) wedding party.

Stephanie wins a spot in a television commercial that D.J. wanted.

Jesse's latest love interest thwarts his advances because she is afraid of his type of man.

Just when Joey gets a date to play with the Harlem Globetrotters, members of the household catch the measles.

Joey considers abandoning his career as a comic after he bombs on stage.

Thinking they're making a movie, the boys rob a bank.

Peter is sure his weekend camping trip will be canceled when he breaks his mother's favorite vase.

To avoid marrying an evil man, a princess picks Davy.

The twins persuade Bill to suspend the house rules.

A guide dog center where canines are trained to become service dogs.

Annette Funicello stars as an exchange student who stays with the Williams family.

Showcasing the efforts of compassionate individuals helping all kinds of animals in trouble and animal care tips.

An editorial gets Jeff fired from the school paper.

Featuring actual cases of missing individuals, both adult and juvenile, from across the United States; includes tips and information to keep children safe.

Following their elopement to Las Vegas, newlyweds Chip and Polly (Stanley Livingston, Ronne Troup) are beset by trouble.

Featuring actual cases of missing individuals, both adult and juvenile, from across the United States; includes tips and information to keep children safe.

Bridegroom Chip (Stanley Livingston) faces a father-in-law who refuses to speak to his newly married daughter.

Jesse moonlights as an Elvis Presley look-alike to earn money for a demo record.

Lucy, her daughter and Uncle Harry try living in the jungle as an escape from the pressures of the city.

Joey learns that D.J. skipped school to get a rock star's (Stacey Q) autograph.

Lucy tries to help Milton Berle when she mistakes him for a skid row bum.

Jesse is in trouble when Stephanie plays "beauty parlor" with his hair.

Jesse falls for Danny's new TV co-host on "Wake Up San Francisco.".

Greg Needs $150 to record his original song so he convinces his siblings to join him. They notice that Peter's voice is crackling due to puberty and have to decide to record with or without him.

The writers demand a raise and get entangled in the world of corporate finance.

Phyllis, who has just received her real estate license, tries to sell Lou a house.

Jan finds a picture of her Aunt Jenny when she was the same age and discovers they are look-alikes.

Fonzie suddenly experiences sneezing attacks whenever he's about to kiss a girl.

The loser of Bobby and Greg's bet must do everything the winner says for a week.

The roommates wear stolen gowns to a posh party at the Shotz Brewery, boss's house.

The column Peter is writing for the school newspaper is a profitable venture.

Stubing proposes to Emily (Marion Ross); a teenage stowaway meets Larry Gatlin & the Gatlin Brothers; a phony agent dupes a comedian.

A kidnapper (Don Rickles) snatches one castaway after another.

After both Mary Ann and Ginger vanish suddenly, Gilligan dreams he's Dr. Gilligan and Mr. Hyde.

Gopher breaks a passenger's (Jose Ferrer) priceless statue; Judy is labeled a home-wrecker; Ace snaps a telling shot of two couples.

A plain woman (Tina Louise in a dual role) arrives to hide from men.

Gilligan goes overboard when he is elected to be the Skipper's deputy.

Jethro reads a book about yoga and decides to become a guru, much to Granny's disgust.

Goober Pyle pays a secret visit to Gomer and almost gets him committed by a psychiatrist.

When the Clampetts take up jogging, Mr. Drysdale joins in to seek new business for his bank.

Gomer helps Carter's sister convince the sergeant that her fiance has merits.

Iola reveals she wants a husband and a family, and after finding a new beau, she decides to introduce him to the Harpers; Mama and the family learn that Iola's new beau isn't that great of a guy.

When Carter leaves his precious car in Gomer's care, it is stolen and demolished.

After installing an intercom in preparation for Naomi's new baby, the family begins using it to eavesdrop on each other.

When Carter and his girlfriend break up, Gomer decides to patch things up.

When Fred learns of the possibility of oil on his property, he starts spending his "millions.".

The Drysdales sell their mansion to singer Pat Boone, who is intrigued by Granny's cooking.

Fred discovers that the tenant he has a crush on is a man and a criminal.

The hillbillies move back to the hills to find Elly a husband, much to Mr. Drysdale's dismay.

Stephanie needs emergency surgery but Archie balks when the doctor turns out to be one of Gloria's former playmates.

The Clampetts arrive in the mountain town of Silver Dollar City, where Granny starts a feud.

A small crime wave in the Bunker household is only half as unsettling as the possible motivations.

Granny continues her efforts to get Elly married, extolling her virtues to every bachelor she meets.

Florence faces mandatory retirement from her job as courtroom bailiff.

Victoria's movie premiere approaches; Emmy visits with surprising news; Elka has taken a younger lover.

Several expectant mothers are stranded in the courtroom when a hurricane strikes the city. Dick Butkus, Brent Spiner and Pam Grier guest star.

When Victoria wants an Oscar nomination, her friends try to convince Academy members to consider her.

Four expectant mothers are stranded in the courtroom while a hurricane rages outside. Guest: Dick Butkus.

Rob dreams he is a sheriff in the Wild West.

Harry receives a letter from his mother, who deserted him when he was a child.

Rob's autobiography is bought by Alan Brady for a television series.

Sam realizes how much he misses his former sports celebrity status when a local newscaster asks to interview him.

Coach isn't impressed with the guy his daughter wants to marry.

Diane and Carla decide to bury the hatchet over after work drinks.

Louie comforts Zena's heartbroken friend (Andrea Marcovicci).

Coach and Sam become unlikely romantic rivals for Coach's new neighbor.

Oscar blames Felix for his developing ulcer.

Bob watches in amazement as Mr. Carlin (Jack Riley) spins a web of lies to impress his love-struck new secretary.

Bob runs into problems when he brings his therapy group home for a wild role-playing encounter.

Agent 99 and CIA agent Quigley must save the world from a mad scientist who is freezing it.

Bob succumbs to the pressures of living in a big city and seeks employment at a small rural college.

Alice learns about Ralph's plan to use hypnotism to get money from her.

Bob thinks that Veronica Kidd, a student trainee, has fallen in love with him.

Bilko is off to Hollywood to serve as technical adviser for a film.

While in London, Max and 99 try to find out who is recreating "Jack the Ripper" type murders.

Carol's guests are Mickey Rooney and John Davidson; Davidson sings "Somewhere"; Rooney takes part in a wild, wild Western; Carol must choose between the two (and Lyle) on The Rat Race.Guests: Mickey Rooney, John Davidson..

A mad scientist has created a serum to bring wax figures to life, and he starts with Jack the Ripper.

When a cheerleader is killed her boyfriend becomes the prime suspect.

A teenager aims for beautiful women, fancy cars and money.

A madwoman becomes enamored with Hammer and threatens to kill Doreau unless Sledge gives in to her advances.

Miss Brooks plans on making some extra money as a waitress, not knowing that the hot dog stand is owned by Osgood Conklin.

Actress Evelyn Rudie is featured on the classic quiz show.

ALF helps Lynn (Andrea Elson) boost her self-confidence by enrolling her in a beauty pageant. With Max Wright, Anne Shedeen and Benji Gregory.

A collection of some of Groucho Marx's best moments on the game show "You Bet Your Life.".

ALF gets a severe case of hiccups after being excluded from Dorothy and Whizzer's (Anne Meara, Paul Dooley) wedding party.

Danny embarks on his first date since the death of his wife that results in romance.

Ozzie's opportunity to speak at a civic club meeting is taken away.

D.J.'s favorite cousin (Kirk Cameron) comes for a visit, but ends up spending most of his time with Danny.

Ozzie accidentally opens an accountant's safe.

Close quarters prompt Jesse to seek other lodgings for a while.

Dennis the Menace (Jay North) helps Donna redecorate.

The clan struggles to adjust to life without Jesse. He returns back home when Michelle gets sick.

Jeff agrees to write love letters for a Greek friend.

Thinking they're making a movie, the boys rob a bank.

Mary's wealthy pal visits and makes friends with Jeff.

To avoid marrying an evil man, a princess picks Davy.

Mary thinks an awkward boy is the image of her father.

A guide dog center where canines are trained to become service dogs.

Don handles housekeeping chores for the injured Ann.

Showcasing the efforts of compassionate individuals helping all kinds of animals in trouble and animal care tips.

Ann accompanies Don to a jet-set party and is accepted as one of the crowd.

Featuring actual cases of missing individuals, both adult and juvenile, from across the United States; includes tips and information to keep children safe.

Ann learns Lou is jealous of Don.

Featuring actual cases of missing individuals, both adult and juvenile, from across the United States; includes tips and information to keep children safe.

Ann invites her parents to her Broadway debut.

Jesse moonlights as an Elvis Presley look-alike to earn money for a demo record.

When Brenda's "Mr. Right" seems to be taking her for granted, Rhoda drills her on how to land a man.

Joey learns that D.J. skipped school to get a rock star's (Stacey Q) autograph.

Rhoda finds herself counseling a married couple despite her limited relationship experience.

Jesse is in trouble when Stephanie plays "beauty parlor" with his hair.

Martin is excited over the prospect of a visit from an old friend, until he recalls the friend was once engaged to Ida.

Jesse falls for Danny's new TV co-host on "Wake Up San Francisco.".

Brenda falls for a young federal agent who is using her apartment to check on the residence across the street.

Greg Needs $150 to record his original song so he convinces his siblings to join him. They notice that Peter's voice is crackling due to puberty and have to decide to record with or without him.

Their friendship is on the line after Mary thinks Rhoda has made an unkind remark.

Jan finds a picture of her Aunt Jenny when she was the same age and discovers they are look-alikes.

Lou gets mad and threatens to fire Mary after some unedited copy airs on the news.

The loser of Bobby and Greg's bet must do everything the winner says for a week.

Ted realizes his dream to meet Walter Cronkite.

The column Peter is writing for the school newspaper is a profitable venture.

When Ted learns that Mary is attending a night-school class in creative writing, he enrolls in the same course.

The girls agree to let Fonzie (guest star Henry Winkler) throw a party at the Pizza Bowl.

A kidnapper (Don Rickles) snatches one castaway after another.

Laverne challenges a wisecracking Shotz tour guide to a bowling championship.

After both Mary Ann and Ginger vanish suddenly, Gilligan dreams he's Dr. Gilligan and Mr. Hyde.

The girls are excited to hear that "wild" Anne Marie will attend their class reunion.

A plain woman (Tina Louise in a dual role) arrives to hide from men.

Shirley tries to break up Laverne's wedding plans with Sal leaving for the Navy.

Gilligan goes overboard when he is elected to be the Skipper's deputy.

After meeting and falling for the charming actor Leslie Lemoyne, Mama sees him on "Tri-State's Most Wanted" just as he is arriving to pick her up for dinner; she fears that he may be a dangerous felon.

Goober Pyle pays a secret visit to Gomer and almost gets him committed by a psychiatrist.

Mama gets an invitation to her 50th high school reunion, which she has no plans on attending; she later reveals the reason why she doesn't want to attend.

Gomer helps Carter's sister convince the sergeant that her fiance has merits.

After calling into a radio show for advice about a broken blender and subsequently causing an uproar after they are unable to help her, Mama is offered a radio show as a consumer advocate by the station manager.

When Carter leaves his precious car in Gomer's care, it is stolen and demolished.

Vint and Naomi return home after meeting a physic, Madam Rita, telling the whole family about her; but Mama has her suspicions, figuring out that Rita could get most of her information from the beauty shop where she works.

When Carter and his girlfriend break up, Gomer decides to patch things up.

The Drysdales sell their mansion to singer Pat Boone, who is intrigued by Granny's cooking.

The hillbillies move back to the hills to find Elly a husband, much to Mr. Drysdale's dismay.

The Clampetts arrive in the mountain town of Silver Dollar City, where Granny starts a feud.

Granny continues her efforts to get Elly married, extolling her virtues to every bachelor she meets.

Florence faces mandatory retirement from her job as courtroom bailiff.

Several expectant mothers are stranded in the courtroom when a hurricane strikes the city. Dick Butkus, Brent Spiner and Pam Grier guest star.

Four expectant mothers are stranded in the courtroom while a hurricane rages outside. Guest: Dick Butkus.

Harry receives a letter from his mother, who deserted him when he was a child.

Diane becomes upset when Sam hits on an old friend of hers who's on the rebound.

Norm is surprised when he is the only one at his company party in Roman garb.

Mr. Conklin tries squeezing money out of a rich dowager so he can redecorate his office by dressing the school staff like bums.

Diane and Carla decide to bury the hatchet over after work drinks.

Ace plays detective to solve a bizarre murder case; Capt. Steubing's wife (Marion Ross) tries to alter cruise routines.

Coach and Sam become unlikely romantic rivals for Coach's new neighbor.

Bob's invitation to lecture at a prestigious sex seminar results in distress when the audience shows up nude.

Bob runs into problems when he brings his therapy group home for a wild role-playing encounter.

Bob succumbs to the pressures of living in a big city and seeks employment at a small rural college.

A born loser gets a call from a woman who thinks she has called the Suicide Help line.

Bob thinks that Veronica Kidd, a student trainee, has fallen in love with him.

An artist is incensed when his son flunks a sex-education class.

While in London, Max and 99 try to find out who is recreating "Jack the Ripper" type murders.

Freddy gets soaked while fixing a leaky pipe for the woman next door.

A mad scientist has created a serum to bring wax figures to life, and he starts with Jack the Ripper.

Harvey and Judy decide to get married in Las Vegas; in "Love and the Teddy Bear," Mary and Joe find their son asleep with a girl.

When a cheerleader is killed her boyfriend becomes the prime suspect.

Emmett is threatened when a young helper does too good a job.

A madwoman becomes enamored with Hammer and threatens to kill Doreau unless Sledge gives in to her advances.

An old man comes to the farm claiming that he can find water with a dowsing stick.

Actress Evelyn Rudie is featured on the classic quiz show.

Emmett pawns his wife's expensive diamond to play the stock market.

A collection of some of Groucho Marx's best moments on the game show "You Bet Your Life.".

Goober's big brother Braden comes home to Mayberry after 14 years.

Jesse must tell his parents he wants to go into show business.

Ozzie's opportunity to speak at a civic club meeting is taken away.

D.J. and Kimmy plot to buy themselves a horse, but don't have enough money.

Ozzie accidentally opens an accountant's safe.

Jesse asks Joey's help on a cat-food ad contest; D.J. and Stephanie get into a fight.

Dennis the Menace (Jay North) helps Donna redecorate.

D.J. wins tickets to meet the Beach Boys, but can't decide whom to take.

Jeff agrees to write love letters for a Greek friend.

One of Jan's practical jokes boomerangs and she becomes her own victim.

Mary's wealthy pal visits and makes friends with Jeff.

A girl-hating captain dumps Buffy from the stickball team.

Mary thinks an awkward boy is the image of her father.

Lauritz Melchior and Shirley Jones guest star as a father-daughter musical team.

Don handles housekeeping chores for the injured Ann.

Ann accompanies Don to a jet-set party and is accepted as one of the crowd.

Alex and Donna think Mary is out after curfew.

Ann learns Lou is jealous of Don.

Steve (Fred MacMurray) reluctantly agrees to be a model for a fashion show, then refuses at the last minute.

Ann invites her parents to her Broadway debut.

Chip (Stanley Livingston) becomes ill after eating Polly's (Ronne Troup) cooking, and she believes it would be better if he left her.

Lucy robs a bank and fur salon thinking she's on a TV game show.

When Brenda's "Mr. Right" seems to be taking her for granted, Rhoda drills her on how to land a man.

Lucy discovers a singing farmhand (Wayne Newton).

Rhoda finds herself counseling a married couple despite her limited relationship experience.

Martin is excited over the prospect of a visit from an old friend, until he recalls the friend was once engaged to Ida.

Brenda falls for a young federal agent who is using her apartment to check on the residence across the street.

Rob tries to attend Laura's family reunion without anyone finding out that he is sick.

Their friendship is on the line after Mary thinks Rhoda has made an unkind remark.

Lou gets mad and threatens to fire Mary after some unedited copy airs on the news.

Richie is arrested and charged with being the infamous "kissing bandit" of Milwaukee.

Ted realizes his dream to meet Walter Cronkite.

The girls' blind dates are bank robbers and plan to rob the bank next to the Pizza Bowl.

When Ted learns that Mary is attending a night-school class in creative writing, he enrolls in the same course.

Doc falls for a radio psychologist; a gambler (Thom Bray) risks love; a woman wants to retire her spouse's (Donald O'Connor) orangutan.

The girls agree to let Fonzie (guest star Henry Winkler) throw a party at the Pizza Bowl.

Laverne challenges a wisecracking Shotz tour guide to a bowling championship.

A disguised rock star faces rejection; a novelist sees Ace as the hero of her next book; two lovers celebrate their 10th anniversary.

The girls are excited to hear that "wild" Anne Marie will attend their class reunion.

Shirley tries to break up Laverne's wedding plans with Sal leaving for the Navy.

Birdwatcher Jane Hathaway hikes into the woods and finds a man for Elly.

After meeting and falling for the charming actor Leslie Lemoyne, Mama sees him on "Tri-State's Most Wanted" just as he is arriving to pick her up for dinner; she fears that he may be a dangerous felon.

The Clampetts rehearse for Elly's wedding to backwoodsman Matthew Templeton, unaware that banker Drysdale wants it stopped.

Mama gets an invitation to her 50th high school reunion, which she has no plans on attending; she later reveals the reason why she doesn't want to attend.

After calling into a radio show for advice about a broken blender and subsequently causing an uproar after they are unable to help her, Mama is offered a radio show as a consumer advocate by the station manager.

Vint and Naomi return home after meeting a physic, Madam Rita, telling the whole family about her; but Mama has her suspicions, figuring out that Rita could get most of her information from the beauty shop where she works.

Three jewel thieves plan to use Fred as their mule to smuggle their stolen gems out of Hawaii to California.

While at a convention in Hawaii, Fred is an unwitting jewel smuggler.

Archie and Edith introduce a rich widow to Barney Hefner after his wife runs away again.

Archie's brother Fred returns after recovering from heart surgery and convinces Archie to invest $5000 in a Chinese cafeteria franchise. Their new financial partnership is threatened when Archie discovers that Fred's new wife is only 18 years old.

The women are assessed to see if they can adopt a puppy; Elka's relationships with Mamie and Roy take a turn.

Melanie uses her illness to get sold-out concert tickets; Victoria starts an online romance.

TV comedy writer Rob Petrie balances a suburban home life with wife Laura and his wise-cracking office colleagues.

Rob talks Laura into leaving their sick son with a baby sitter while they go to a party at Alan Brady's penthouse.

Red Sox pitcher Rick Walker falls into a slump and asks his idol Sam for advice.

A shy man who is about to enter the priesthood makes advances toward Diane.

Mr. Conklin tries squeezing money out of a rich dowager so he can redecorate his office by dressing the school staff like bums.

Alex and his father, who is back in town to pay a visit, both date the same girl.

Ace plays detective to solve a bizarre murder case; Capt. Steubing's wife (Marion Ross) tries to alter cruise routines.

Felix volunteers his and Oscar's services to take care of a small boy.

Bob strikes out against a friend's fear of falling, but succumbs to the same phobia himself when he is subjected to a harrowing experience in an elevator.

Agent 99 infiltrates a radio program to learn the identity of a KAOS agent.

Ralph makes calls to single women for a friend who needs help getting a date, upsetting Alice.

A born loser gets a call from a woman who thinks she has called the Suicide Help line.

Bilko learns that Congress is planning to examine wasteful military projects.

An artist is incensed when his son flunks a sex-education class.

Carol's guests are Frank Gorshin and Lana Turner; Gorshin does his famous impressions, then joins up with Turner in a sketch about Bluebeard, who has just taken his unlucky 13th bride, Carol.Guests: Lana Turner, Frank Gorshin..

Freddy gets soaked while fixing a leaky pipe for the woman next door.

Harvey and Judy decide to get married in Las Vegas; in "Love and the Teddy Bear," Mary and Joe find their son asleep with a girl.

Dunky tells a girl that Dobie is an alcoholic.

Emmett is threatened when a young helper does too good a job.

When Miss Brooks tries to dispose some of the worthless property next to the school, she unknowingly sells the deed to the land that Madison High is sitting on.

An old man comes to the farm claiming that he can find water with a dowsing stick.

Betty Jo has given up baseball to dedicate her life to science, or at least to her handsome new science teacher.

Emmett pawns his wife's expensive diamond to play the stock market.

An insecure actor tries to buy Ann's friendship.

Goober's big brother Braden comes home to Mayberry after 14 years.

Jesse must tell his parents he wants to go into show business.

D.J. and Kimmy plot to buy themselves a horse, but don't have enough money.

Jesse asks Joey's help on a cat-food ad contest; D.J. and Stephanie get into a fight.

D.J. wins tickets to meet the Beach Boys, but can't decide whom to take.

One of Jan's practical jokes boomerangs and she becomes her own victim.

A girl-hating captain dumps Buffy from the stickball team.

Lauritz Melchior and Shirley Jones guest star as a father-daughter musical team.

Alex and Donna think Mary is out after curfew.

Steve (Fred MacMurray) reluctantly agrees to be a model for a fashion show, then refuses at the last minute.

Chip (Stanley Livingston) becomes ill after eating Polly's (Ronne Troup) cooking, and she believes it would be better if he left her.

Lucy robs a bank and fur salon thinking she's on a TV game show.

Lucy discovers a singing farmhand (Wayne Newton).

Rob tries to attend Laura's family reunion without anyone finding out that he is sick.

Ted takes advantage of Lou's new image as the office "pussycat.".

Richie is arrested and charged with being the infamous "kissing bandit" of Milwaukee.

The girls' blind dates are bank robbers and plan to rob the bank next to the Pizza Bowl.

Doc falls for a radio psychologist; a gambler (Thom Bray) risks love; a woman wants to retire her spouse's (Donald O'Connor) orangutan.

A disguised rock star faces rejection; a novelist sees Ace as the hero of her next book; two lovers celebrate their 10th anniversary.

Birdwatcher Jane Hathaway hikes into the woods and finds a man for Elly.

The Clampetts rehearse for Elly's wedding to backwoodsman Matthew Templeton, unaware that banker Drysdale wants it stopped.

While comedian Shecky Lewis is on stage performing at the Bigger Jigger, Mama heckles him; the comedian challenges her to perform at Open Mike Night on Monday.

Bubba is looking for a band for Homecoming, and succeeds in booking the Bonecrushers; after telliing the family that the band will be staying with them, it turns out the Bonecrushers are an all-female heavy metal band.

Three jewel thieves plan to use Fred as their mule to smuggle their stolen gems out of Hawaii to California.

While at a convention in Hawaii, Fred is an unwitting jewel smuggler.

Archie and Edith introduce a rich widow to Barney Hefner after his wife runs away again.

Archie's brother Fred returns after recovering from heart surgery and convinces Archie to invest $5000 in a Chinese cafeteria franchise. Their new financial partnership is threatened when Archie discovers that Fred's new wife is only 18 years old.

The women are assessed to see if they can adopt a puppy; Elka's relationships with Mamie and Roy take a turn.

Melanie uses her illness to get sold-out concert tickets; Victoria starts an online romance.

TV comedy writer Rob Petrie balances a suburban home life with wife Laura and his wise-cracking office colleagues.

Rob talks Laura into leaving their sick son with a baby sitter while they go to a party at Alan Brady's penthouse.

Red Sox pitcher Rick Walker falls into a slump and asks his idol Sam for advice.

A shy man who is about to enter the priesthood makes advances toward Diane.

Alex and his father, who is back in town to pay a visit, both date the same girl.

Felix volunteers his and Oscar's services to take care of a small boy.

Bob strikes out against a friend's fear of falling, but succumbs to the same phobia himself when he is subjected to a harrowing experience in an elevator.

Agent 99 infiltrates a radio program to learn the identity of a KAOS agent.

Ralph makes calls to single women for a friend who needs help getting a date, upsetting Alice.

Bilko learns that Congress is planning to examine wasteful military projects.

Carol's guests are Frank Gorshin and Lana Turner; Gorshin does his famous impressions, then joins up with Turner in a sketch about Bluebeard, who has just taken his unlucky 13th bride, Carol.Guests: Lana Turner, Frank Gorshin..

Dunky tells a girl that Dobie is an alcoholic.

When Miss Brooks tries to dispose some of the worthless property next to the school, she unknowingly sells the deed to the land that Madison High is sitting on.

Betty Jo has given up baseball to dedicate her life to science, or at least to her handsome new science teacher.

An insecure actor tries to buy Ann's friendship.